How long should bioparents have to get there kids back?

if someone's child is took from them and put into foster care, how long should they have to get them back?





My parents who were foster parents adopted me when i was small after my bmom had THREE YEARS to get me back. She did not show for court, she did not come to visits and she dropped out of rehab,m trashed the housing she was given and was evicted...it goes on and on. the courts felt sorry for her because every time she'd always say she loved me but then could not be bothered to even show up for visits. her rights took way too long to terminate and then my bio gparents did not want me either (not even visits) so my foster parents eventually adopted me.





the worst i ever saw though was when i was a teenager my parents took in a little boy who was 10 months old. his mom did the same stuff mine did not showing up for visits or court, not going to treatment and not going to anger management.she had been violent with the baby which is why he was took from her. when they asked her why she was beating on him she said he just would not stop crying.





anyway by the time he was 4 yrs old the courts were still trying to get the mom to take an interest. she would disappear and they would track her down, they would schedule visits and she wouldn't show and it went on like that for a long time. now there was 4 year old boy who didnt know his own mom from adam but they were still trying to send him home. then they found an aunt and uncle in quebec but everything is hard with quebec, kids getting transferred in and out is difficult. so for another TWO YEARS they tried to get the aunt and uncle to move to nova scotia where we are, they were going to pay expenses and help them find work and everything and they said no. then finally they went thru all this **** to get the courts to give permission for this little boy to be moved to quebec, and after all that his aunt and uncle said they didn't want him.





he was 6 by this time. he eventually went to live with family friends of my parents who are also foster parents (my parents could not adopt him at that time for a bunch of reasons that i won't get into here) and they adopted him when he was 8. we still see him all the time, thank goodness, but it should not have taken that long!





so i want to know how much time you think it should take to send kids home or terminate rights? if a mom doesn't show up for court or visits, should she be parenting? these kids stay in limbo while parents are extended all this time. I understand that parents might be going thru their own **** but should a kid have to wait for them?





what do you think?|||It would depend on what the issue with the parent was. Some should not get their kids back no matter what! I think a reasonable amount of time for rehabilitation for addicts who loose their kids would be no more than a year. Parents who have homes that are not in clean enough conditions should be given 3 months and assistance in cleaning it up. Parents who mentally abuse should be be stuck in institutions until well. Parents who physically and sexually abuse should NEVER get their children back! Even when parents do get their children back it should be monitored strictly. When I was taken I was a teen. I couldn't believe there was even court dates for my mother to go to. Thankfully she didn't show!|||We are foster parents and were told the national average is 15-18 months that they are given. But lots of times they give them longer as they do good for awhile, then bad, then they start over and all that. We finally got to adopt our two this summer and they gave their bio parents 6 years.(we had them the whole time)|||One year maximum!! If they can't get it together in a year they don't deserve to be a parent. In the meantime the children remain in limbo--not belonging to their original family and not belonging to the foster family. We --the states---need to revisit this issue again folks---cause it ain't working!!!


No!!A kid should not have to wait on them.If they want to be called parent then they should act like one. We fostered a little girl while momma cut short visits cause she had a date that night; and on and on it goes.|||I have not put a child up for adoption, or adopted a child, but I will still give my opinion.





It depends on the situation. If the mother has abandoned her child due to drugs or violence, then I say give them 1 year.


If it is for other reasons, I say give them 2 years.


Then, they can only petition to get the child back after 6-12 months of supervision and the have to prove they can take care of the child (a home, enough money coming in, etc). If they cannot prove they can take the child, let a family adopt them who can love them.|||Well, that all depends. For physical, sexual or serious psychological abuse, there should be no second chances. No matter what, if you are willing to do it once, in my mind you are always a risk to that kid, and it is irresponsible to put a kid into a situation with a **known** risk.





As for most other situations I think it depends on if the parents are trying. But if they keep missing court dates and not showing up to visits, I say cap it at a year, tops. I was in "limbo" as they say for too long also, and someone should have seen that my biomom was too much of a deadbeat to get her crap together, leave her man and actually try to take care of me. The courts did everything short of sending her flowers and letters pleading with her. Some people don't want help and their kids should not pay for it.|||I am hard nosed on this topic. Limbo land sucks when it comes to the stability of a child's upbringing.





Proven physical and sexual abuse: Done over and out--no second chance. If it is about protecting the kids...than protect the kids.





Drug abuse: again--I understand it is an illness--but if you can't get it together in 6 months--I say your if you go back on the jones--rights are terminated but I am more open to supervised visits.





6 years is too long. Heck...one day it too long with proven abuse.|||The current trend is family reunification. Which is what happened to you. I am aware of a situation where the mother refused to maintain clean and sober and welfare took her children the first time when the baby was less than a year old. The Father was in recovery, but the welfare office refused to listen to the truth about her behavior after he had left. Within a year all three of the children were returned to her, which began a revolving door that included the children being taken two more times and when the baby was 6 they were removed a final time. The Welfare Department terminated the fathers parental rights, although he was clean and sober (they listened again - as always to the mother) a year later her parental rights were also terminated. No one listened to the Grandparents until then. At that time the Welfare Department wanted the Grandparents to adopt the children, but they had to but a bigger house because of the sex and ages of the children. When this could not be done, the Grandparents were eliminated and the children were placed in Forster care until an adoption could be arranged for the two youngest. When this mother had two more children the welfare department was right there and took both and they were also placed in adoption.





I believe that the same treatment should apply to either parent, not just the mother. I also believe that it the biological parents has a history they should get one chance and if they cannot clean up their act the children should be taken permanently.


The problem is that here are not enough good foster parents or people who are willing to adopt older children. Also people have seen movie stars adopt children from other countries and so the children that need a family here are left - abandoned by the system as well as their biological parents.|||No more than a few months! Take a month to START getting your sh*t together. For example, if the parent is a drug abuser, give them a month to find and go into some sort of treatment program. If the parent is still on drugs and not showing up to court ordered appearances and child visits then most likely the person is to disordered to take care of a child. Say the person goes to rehab, complies with courts, ect. give them a test period to see if they go back to drugs. If not, slowly inch the child back with the parent. Like visits outside courts, then weekends, and eventually bringing the child home. There is a difference between parents who don't care at all and parents who want to care but are to raped up in a disorder. In my opinion its all about judgment and a case by case assessment.|||Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA) 1997 specifies the process of freeing a child for adoption should begin when they have spent 15 of the past 18 months in foster care *unless* there are particular extenuating circumstances that warrant holding off on begining the Termination of Parental Rights process.


http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/laws_鈥?/a>





That said, the TPR is a legal process that takes several months and must be done exactly right to prevent procedural delays - for example, the birth mother and birth father have to be appropriately served notice of the TPR hearings, or the judge can delay the hearings. Full court calendars mean TPR hearings are cancelled and rescheduled. Family Court judges have some latitude in allowing parents additional chances and that will delay the TPR process. Caseworkers have to have every "i" dotted and every "t" crossed in the court paperwork or the judge will reschedule the hearing while the forms are corrected - or the paperwork can be right and the judges want more information, so they delay the hearing some more. Then, when the TPR is granted and the child is freed, the Adoption process begins (and is subject to the same court delays as above).


~ mj, MSW w/17 years child welfare experience